Mike On The Mic

—

Shoutout to Matoula for reminding me that I’ve wanted to make one of these for a minute now. Also peep my Darrell green and Cal ripken bobbleheads on the window sill lmfao.

Tumblr Accent Challenge:

• What is your name/username?

• Where are you from?

• Pronounce the following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Pajamas, Caught, Naturally, Aluminium, GIF, Tumblr, Crackerjack, Doorknob, Envelope, GPOY, Polka Dots, Papaya, Penthouse, Subtext, Smile

• What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?

• What is a bubbly carbonated drink called?

• What do you call your grandparents?

• What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?

• What’s the bug, that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?

• What do you say to address a group of people?

• What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?

• Choose a book and read a passage from it.

• Be a wizard or a vampire?

• How old are you?

• Is it cold where you are?

• What is your favorite color?

• What color are your eyes?

• Do you have freckles?

• When is your birthday?

• What was the last thing you drank?

• Do you know anyone on Tumblr in real life? If so, who?

• Would you rather: Have a million dollars or a million friends? Eat a taco or a quesadilla? Be a shark or an elephant?

• Do you speak a second language? Say something in it.

• Do you think you have an accent?

• End this with three words.

—

04 / 03

12 notes

producermatthew:

Why does FOX News want to take the username “F—kYeahFoxNews” away from me? And, more importantly, why do THEY want to start using it?

(Source: matthewkeys)

16 / 02

369 notes

// Tumblr Guessing Game…//

heaveniminheaven:

Can you guess from my posts what is my:

* Age

* Sex and/or Gender

* Sexual Orientation

* Race and/or Ethnicity

* Field of study and/or field of work

* Favorite TV show(s)

* Favorite book(s)

* Favorite video game(s)

* Favorite food(s)

Leave any answers in my ask and we’ll see how astute you are.

hey Tumblr, make mostly blind assumptions about me.

(via cococures)

02 / 10

130,579 notes

cambyo:

Please Reblog. Help us grow our movement.

Thank you for bettering our world,

Cambyo Community Organizing

(via johnlennonandcupcakes)

22 / 08

1 note

// I hate when the only times people respond to shit in their ask box//

is when its anonymous. Like, I get it, you have “haters” who talk shit on Tumblr. Guess what, they’re anonymous. They’re too afraid to show who they are as they talk shit. Pay them no mind. If the only people in your ask box are anonymous, I have all the reason in the world to believe that you are flooding your own ask box to make yourself look better. Shit is not that serious. So you can go and take your anonymous haters to the pasture of unicorns and non-government-created AIDS and other shit that doesn’t FUCKING EXIST! No bullshit, I came to tumblr because it seemed to be more “Mature” than other social networking sites, and yet here you go, shitting it up with your high school-mentality bullshit. Take that shit to formspring or peoplesdirt or wherever the fuck you wanna take it. Wherever you take it, take it off my dashboard, I got titties and weed pictures to look at, I don’t need to see you cuss yourself out to boost your #SelvesOfSteam. Fuckin bitches

/rant

19 / 02

1 note

// Just because….//

…you have a good camera, that DOES NOT mean you take good pictures or are a photographer

…you have images of you from a photoshoot as your facebook picture, that DOES NOT mean you are a model

…you have a fanpage on facebook of your “music” which consists of beats made in GarageBand/3 basic power chords and recorded from a Macbook microphone, that DOES NOT make you a musician

…you have a Tumblr account in which you can “express your emotions” more than you can on facebook/twitter, that DOES NOT mean you are a fucking poet.

Let me take the time to focus on that last demographic there. The “poets” of tumblr.

Some of you people need to get a grip on reality in the internet age. SOME of you (Mo and mesa, for example) have very well-written poetic stuff on your pages, but MOST of you post empty, hollow, cliché ramblings about “love” and “life” and other shit you don’t know ANYTHING about.

And why the fuck are all of you Tumblr poets so damn depressing? There can be uplifting poetry, you know? Not all of it has to be:

Blood feels like the frozen streams of weakness

Running through these veins of regret

Yet if I am so cold

Why do I feel as if I am in Hell?

And if I am in Hell

Where is Beelzebub with his pitchfork

And throne of Brimstone?

The role of Satan in my personal Hell

Is played by the skinny jean-wearing boy in my Psych class who wears more eyeliner than me and won’t answer my texts…so now I’m depressed and ranting about it on Tumblr OMG IM SO POETIC!!!

Shut the fuck up and sit your sad-about-everything ass DOWN somewhere. I swear, you motherfuckers are like a gloomy Charlie Brown strip, and every time the girl with the red hair doesn’t respond to your love letter, you go on Tumblr to post a million “poems” that just say “Good Grief” in more words.

If you’re gonna be a poet, learn how to fucking write, and ESPECIALLY learn how to write about different subjects. Your Middle Class Subruban Caged Bird is singing, and I don’t GIVE A FUCK WHY. You’re not Robert Frost or Ernest Hemingway or Langston Hughes, you’re some stupid ass hipster with a blog. Learn the difference.

Oh, and yes, as a matter of fact, I am mad. You emo bastards piss me off to no avail.

I FUCKING MAD

21 / 11

10 notes